Team YoruSoi

An LGBTQ friendly forum for Bleach fans.
 
HomeHome  CalendarCalendar  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:23 pm

Polaris mentioned to me a while back about how she wanted to do a commentary on some of her fics. Since I though this was a good idea and have a copious amounts of free time I decided that I would like to commentate on some of my stuff as well.

If you have a particular one-shot or chapter of a fic that you would like me to do a commentary for, just post it here and I'll get to it probably pretty soon. These will only be getting posted here, and I'll only be taking requests for commentaries here.

I'm not to sure about the formatting of this. If you have a better idea then please tell me.

THERE ARE MORE COMMENTARIES THOUGHT THE THREAD

Brown Skin Lady - Requested by CaptainYoruichi
Brown Skin Lady Commentary:
 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr


Last edited by SoldierG65434-2 on Mon Apr 16, 2012 10:03 pm; edited 3 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:36 pm

Hell, i still have a little trouble with the problem of pronouns, given that my current hang-up is YoruSoi and most of my smut is Yuri. You're basically forced to keep mentioning N-1 women by name, with the Nth girl getting the privilege of a pronoun in any given situation
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:45 pm

There are ways around it. If you write it correctly, you shouldn't need to identify the speaker at all, really. Most dialogue is back-and-forth, so identifying the speaker is usually redundant. So long as you make sure to break your paragraphs properly, you shouldn't get bogged down with having to name names.

You can also do things like establish what they are doing while they are talking, so you can have them further that action as a way of identifying who's saying what.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
PolarisAmane
Writing Monster
avatar

Posts : 290
Join date : 2010-05-06
Age : 102
Location : Paradise Island

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:07 am

That made for an interesting read. Question - did you find yourself cringing when you reread it? Whenever I reread my fics, especially the early chapters of Redemption, I cringe. Man, some of them are so bad and I'm often left wondering "what the hell was i thinking?!"

Are you going to do more? I'd quite like to see a commentary on Going once, Going Twice, SOLD! It's probably one of my favourites of yours. And I'd say also for Fishscale but I'm afriad that it would be ruined by being analysed.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Sun Mar 25, 2012 10:59 am

PolarisAmane wrote:
That made for an interesting read. Question - did you find yourself cringing when you reread it? Whenever I reread my fics, especially the early chapters of Redemption, I cringe. Man, some of them are so bad and I'm often left wondering "what the hell was i thinking?!"
I don't cringe so much as sigh and think "Man, I could have done that so much better." There are a few times where I end up cringing though. There's some really janky shit in some of my earlier fics.

PolarisAmane wrote:
Are you going to do more? I'd quite like to see a commentary on Going once, Going Twice, SOLD! It's probably one of my favourites of yours. And I'd say also for Fishscale but I'm afriad that it would be ruined by being analysed.
I'm doing these on-demand, so I don't really have any plans of my own. I'll start on Going Once... (bit suprised to hear that it's a favorite of yours) today and probably post it tomorrow. I'll leave the final call for Fishscale up to you.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:21 am

I'll chuck in a request for "Going Once," though i'd rather that lead into one on "The Dating Game." Those two along with Dr. Urahara and "The Good Times Are Killing Me" are likely my favorites of yours.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Sun Mar 25, 2012 11:27 am

Mr Khan wrote:
I'll chuck in a request for "Going Once," though i'd rather that lead into one on "The Dating Game." Those two along with Dr. Urahara and "The Good Times Are Killing Me" are likely my favorites of yours.
Wow, a lot of love for Going Once.... I'm surprised. I'll do The Dating Game afterwards, so it'll be a few days before that goes up. And if you'd like me to do any particular chapters from either Good Times... and Dr Urahara feel free to post them. I'm not doing the whole thing though. At least not all at once.

Also remeber, I have 4 non-YoruSoi fics to chooses from: Little Byakuya, Cool for Cats, Hashiken, and Quarrels.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
siyentista
Master of the Maggot's Nest, PhD
Master of the Maggot's Nest, PhD


Posts : 180
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : locked inside my head

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Mon Mar 26, 2012 6:14 pm

Hah. I know I didn't write Going Once and Dating Game, but I feel satisfied with the love they're getting anyway. Is that weird?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.


All my fics are rated T just because.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Tue Mar 27, 2012 1:39 pm

I got sidetracked so it took me a little longer than I initially though, but here it is. I also just want to update the OP, but there's apparently a word limit.

Going once, going twice, SOLD! - Requested by PolarisAmane & Mr Kahn
Going once, going twice, SOLD! Commentary:
 
It'll probably be a bit before I do The Dating Game commentary. I actually want to get at least some part of the next chapter of Every Time... sent to Polaris first.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr


Last edited by SoldierG65434-2 on Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:26 pm; edited 6 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Fatalicious
R&R Lover
avatar

Posts : 333
Join date : 2010-05-11
Age : 27
Location : Nobody Cares

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Tue Mar 27, 2012 3:05 pm

I enjoyed reading this. I think its always fun to look back to see what you've done in the past, and seeing peoples' reactions to doing so. Also, I like how you misspelled stranger, when talking about misspelling stranger.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://www.20b.org
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:28 pm

Hey! I respected Hallibel well before this past week. Part of it, i imagine, is my starvation for competent, no-nonsense (but not evil) women in shonen anime, drawn to her for similar reasons as to Soi Fon, Unohana, or, say, Nico Robin... I support the "rescue" brigade in that i do not want to see her killed off and do want to see her contribute before all is said and done (though Kubo's going to have to go into overdrive making up original Quincies or Quincy-Arrancars so that most everyone gets someone to fight. Fortunately this is his specialty).

I have an equal fascination with Cammy, despite the fact that i dislike all fighting games that aren't Super Smash Bros. I pair Cammy in a three-way with Juri and Chun-Li.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:56 pm

Mr Khan wrote:
(though Kubo's going to have to go into overdrive making up original Quincies or Quincy-Arrancars so that most everyone gets someone to fight. Fortunately this is his specialty).
Finally, his ability to bog down the story with superfluous characters pays off!

Mr Khan wrote:
I have an equal fascination with Cammy, despite the fact that i dislike all fighting games that aren't Super Smash Bros. I pair Cammy in a three-way with Juri and Chun-Li.
...

Seriously though, that Cammy stuff blew my mind. So many things about them lined up, down to the "Bee" name that it was freaky. I can't even claim it was subconscious since I didn't know that stuff until very recently.

And funnily enough, Juri was the first character that I started messing around with in AE. Fiddling with Cammy has done nothing to turn me around on the game though. What can I say, my hands grew up with MK and they just hate dragon-punches.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
CaptainYoruichi
CaptainYoruichi Level
CaptainYoruichi Level
avatar

Posts : 1264
Join date : 2010-05-06
Age : 35
Location : Nerd Palace

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:47 pm

Quote :
Socially-inept Yoruichi is my favorite kind. It gives her some much-needed humanity over being this hyper-competent sex goddess.

I think I agree with this, actually.

Back to top Go down
View user profile http://teamyorusoi.forumotion.com
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Wed Mar 28, 2012 1:13 am

CaptainYoruichi wrote:
Quote :
Socially-inept Yoruichi is my favorite kind. It gives her some much-needed humanity over being this hyper-competent sex goddess.

I think I agree with this, actually.

Oh god, the Mayan's were right! We actually agree on Yoruichi! All is lost!

Yoruichi sort of suffers from the same problem Superman did for the longest time; flawless characters arn't interesting. They can be enjoyable and entertaining, but when you put them into situations that require more depth they fall flat. If every fic writer were to write Yoruichi totally on point with the manga she would be an outstanding bore, for the most part. She can get away with how she is in the manga because we get her in minute doses, but she just wouldn't fly long term. Which is why we get all the various permutations on Yoruichi that most of us know and hate. Socially-inept is just another way of doing things without being totally crazy about it.

I really hope we see more of Yoruichi in this arc, and not just with Sui-Feng. I want to see her interacting with as many people as possible. I finally want to know who she is.


____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
PolarisAmane
Writing Monster
avatar

Posts : 290
Join date : 2010-05-06
Age : 102
Location : Paradise Island

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:06 pm

SoldierG65434-2 wrote:
Two things you can expect out of a SoldierG65434-2 fic; Unohana and motherfucking dinner conversations.

Okay, I laughed far too much at that. It wasn't even all that funny and I found it hilarious.

Thanks for the commentary, t'was an entertaining read.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:29 pm

Like I said, I got some work done on Every Time, so here's another commentary. I have to say, this one left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.

The Dating Game - Requested by Mr. Kahn
The Dating Game:
 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:41 am

The issue with writing a fic centered on Yoruichi's hundred years is that, beyond the character study, there's no appeal. It would essentially be "Yoruichi's random adventures on Earth," and could range anywhere from a Forrest Gump type telling to something yet more mundane, and however much substantive character development was injected there

That plus the fact that canon and quasi-canon materials strongly hint at the fact that Yoruichi was a cat a vast majority of that itme. With Soi Fon hundred-year fics you get intrigue and changes in the actual world, and i think that's why no-one in any Yoruichi fandom has tackled it

Also likely because there's very little evidence (aside from speculation) that Yoruichi changed at all over the years, whereas the Soi Fon change is obvious and provides you something to work towards.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:46 am

Mr Khan wrote:
The issue with writing a fic centered on Yoruichi's hundred years is that, beyond the character study, there's no appeal. It would essentially be "Yoruichi's random adventures on Earth," and could range anywhere from a Forrest Gump type telling to something yet more mundane, and however much substantive character development was injected there
Now I want to read a fic where every time Yoruichi shakes someone's hand, something terrible happens to them.

Seriously though, I don't see any reason why it couldn't work. The only problem is that it would require a lot of work on the author's part because they can't rely on the established canon basically at all. And because of that, you have to ask if people want to read a Bleach fic with basically only Yoruichi in it.

I still think it could work, and could work well. It would just have to basically be a character study of Yoruichi. We've had plenty of Sui-Feng, I think it's time Yoruichi got one.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries   

Back to top Go down
 
SoldierG65434-2 Fic Commentaries
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Acer palmatum deshojo: help with styling and generals commentaries

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Team YoruSoi :: YoruSoi :: YoruSoi Fanfiction-
Jump to: