| | All of the Little Things | |
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Mr Khan Hollow
Posts : 96 Join date : 2012-02-01 Location : Source of the Sun
| Subject: All of the Little Things Sat Feb 11, 2012 7:57 am | |
| Figured i'd open up a thread to discuss my ongoing project, especially since the structure of this "story" allows for more commentary on individual pieces The story is here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7770926/1/All_of_the_Little_ThingsThe format is that Yoruichi and Soi Fon are looking back, a good ways into the future, upon how their relationship matured to the point it got to by the time of the story. It is a sequel to "Four Weeks," simply relying on the fact that Four Weeks establishes a romantic relationship between them, though little else of the events of that story really have an impact on what's occurring here. The stories, in short, address the necessary steps that most long-term relationships go through: having sex, moving in, proposing marriage, getting married, getting pregnant, having kids, hence "the little things," as opposed to the big thing (finding "the one.") So far, the story has tackled the first event chronologically, Sleeping Together, that being the first time they have sex, and the fourth event, Marriage, which is the wedding itself (and some of the requisite drama that comes with marrying the last heir of a clan off to another woman) Keeping things out-of-order, the story will proceed to tackle: moving in together, proposal, getting pregnant, and the pregnancy proper. If anyone has ideas, i would like to hear them regarding "Proposal" and "Moving in Together," which i haven't thought out that well yet. The pregnancy one i've been giving a good deal of thinking to. | |
| | | SoldierG65434-2 H-H-Hacker
Posts : 1149 Join date : 2010-05-06 Location : Citadel Station
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:32 am | |
| So, after our discussion in the "What If" thread, I think you should include Kiyone in the fic somehow. I don't think it would be too hard to fit her into the pregnancy bit, given her inherent connection to the fourth. | |
| | | Mr Khan Hollow
Posts : 96 Join date : 2012-02-01 Location : Source of the Sun
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:51 am | |
| - SoldierG65434-2 wrote:
- So, after our discussion in the "What If" thread, I think you should include Kiyone in the fic somehow. I don't think it would be too hard to fit her into the pregnancy bit, given her inherent connection to the fourth.
Possibly. Perhaps a side-conversation between Kiyone and Isane that addresses the often-unaddressed (though i remember reading one fic, somewhere, wherein Isane was acting very coldly towards Soi, holding the grudge while Kiyone did not), but somehow is not too much of a non-sequitor. Tying it in to Soi Fon's character growth could work... Then again, i'm quite fascinated by Isane and Unohana. I'd vaguely like to do a crack shipping about them, so i've held interest in their motives and all the character potential. Next comes "Cohabitation," however. I'm getting close to starting, lots of lag on my latest work for DeviantArt plus the midterm crunch. Between "Cohabitation" and "Proposal" I would like to weave a theme of Yoruichi trying to find a role for herself as something more than "Soi Fon's woman," and in the process try to better-crystallize her characterization. There is an irony in there if one accepts the idea of the "gilded cage" take on Yoruichi, if she wanted to avoid just getting married off to some man who would take up her titles and responsibilities and bear his children, only to end up married off to a woman who already has taken her responsibilities, and bearing her child. Where does that leave her? Also to try to more firmly affix Yoruichi on the "materialism vs asceticism" scale and define what she really wants to do with her day-to-day life (being in love being all well and good, but life is more mundane than that). | |
| | | Crimson Warrior Grandmaster of the TenKuei Klan
Posts : 338 Join date : 2010-06-15 Age : 33 Location : Cincinnati, Ohio
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:56 pm | |
| Nicely done, Khan. I just read what you've got so far. I like the huge amount of thought you put into these. Makes me realize how much more thought I gotta put into my idea. They're not fanfiction, but still require intense details. Thank you. | |
| | | Mr Khan Hollow
Posts : 96 Join date : 2012-02-01 Location : Source of the Sun
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:16 am | |
| Third chapter (second chronologically) is up.
I'm not too pleased with it, but "moving in" is much more mundane than everything else the story will tackle, so i think i did well enough
Next, for instance, comes the whole "get pregnant" one, which will have less to do with character development and much to do with my own fanciful ideas for lesbian conception that doesn't involve any transgender shenanigans (meaning no futa). Really it should be a study in Bleach's sci-fi physics wrapped in a layer of smut that just so happens to involve our favorite pair. | |
| | | SoldierG65434-2 H-H-Hacker
Posts : 1149 Join date : 2010-05-06 Location : Citadel Station
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:28 am | |
| - Mr Khan wrote:
- TReally it should be a study in Bleach's sci-fi physics wrapped in a layer of smut that just so happens to involve our favorite pair.
I'm telling you, you already have your answer. You don't have to make much of anything up. There was one thing that bothered me about you're latest chapter; the assertion that there's no modern conveniences or electricity in the SS. We already know that they have computers, radios, automatic doors, and heated floors. Unless there's a perpetual fire underneath the Second Division and someone's watching every door while holding on too a pulley I think it's safe to assume that they have some sort of power supply. | |
| | | Mr Khan Hollow
Posts : 96 Join date : 2012-02-01 Location : Source of the Sun
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:44 am | |
| - SoldierG65434-2 wrote:
- Mr Khan wrote:
- TReally it should be a study in Bleach's sci-fi physics wrapped in a layer of smut that just so happens to involve our favorite pair.
I'm telling you, you already have your answer. You don't have to make much of anything up.
There was one thing that bothered me about you're latest chapter; the assertion that there's no modern conveniences or electricity in the SS. We already know that they have computers, radios, automatic doors, and heated floors. Unless there's a perpetual fire underneath the Second Division and someone's watching every door while holding on too a pulley I think it's safe to assume that they have some sort of power supply. That would be much more mundane than i might like. My idea plays off what i imagine to be the physics of the spirit world in what i feel is a more interesting way. And my assumption was that the modern conveniences were arrayed disorderly. Obviously Squads 12 and 4 would have electrical appliances, but have we ever seen much of them outside of that space? Electricity, technology, and automatic doors exist where they're needed in an almost haphazard fashion I suppose i overthought in the wrong direction there, because the direction i established in that chapter requires a deliberate amount of "a wizard did it," underthinking (like where the hot water actually comes from), and it would at least have made sense for Yoruichi to bring a computer over to hook into the internet on their side. Hmm. Maybe i'll go in and fix that, since it's not a relevant detail to the plot of the chapter but does contradict stuff i've laid out before (gas range in Soi's kitchen). Edit: yep, changed it, now she has a computer, and with a line about boring internet in the Soul Society (assuming that they cannot connect to the outside internet, i doubt they would have much of great interest on their internet) | |
| | | CaptainYoruichi CaptainYoruichi Level
Posts : 1264 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 41 Location : Nerd Palace
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:37 am | |
| I really enjoyed the chapter.
I keep forgetting to post reviews so I apologize for that. I am reading them! ^_^ | |
| | | Mr Khan Hollow
Posts : 96 Join date : 2012-02-01 Location : Source of the Sun
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Apr 15, 2012 9:02 am | |
| A snippet of the current chapter. Incredibly far behind on things, and as Japan winds down, it's only going to get worse in the short run. Or better. Final exam studying procrastination has produced some good work on my part before... - Spoiler:
Meanwhile, Soi Fon was fuming and making precious little attempt to conceal it. If she had had any less respect for Unohana than she did, she would have walked out immediately. Now more than ever she wanted to know what was going on in Unohanaās head, behind those lethally serene, hooded blue eyes. But despite years of experience in intelligence and counter-intelligence, Soi Fon found her unreadable as ever. Unohana sat across from Soi Fon and her wife, with Kisuke Urahara sitting on her right and Mayuri Kurotsuchi sitting on her left. Of all the occupants of the room, only Unohana and Yoruichi seemed to be comfortable with the situation, though Soi Fon knew that her wife was, internally, just as perplexed as she was. Kisuke looked openly amused while Kurotsuchi seemed quite agitated. āThank you for coming,ā Unohana said. āIn order to meet your request for help on conceiving a child, I have asked for help from some individuals who have more of the required expertise than I do. Like I want Kurotsuchi anywhere near our child, or Urahara, for that matter, Soi Fon thought. āI trust that you will hear them out,ā Unohana added. Soi Fon frowned. One day she would have to ask Unohana how she did that. āAssuming that you donāt want your brat grown in a lab, there are still a few different routes we could take,ā Mayuri said. āFirst off, which of you wants to actually bear the child?ā āI do,ā Yoruichi said. That had been one of the first things they had decided, since Yoruichi was helpful around the Squad Two barracks, but obviously no longer as important as the Captain and Commander. The other point Yoruichi had also brought up was: If the baby wants to nurse, the one of us with breasts should be the mommy. āWell,ā Kisuke interjected before Mayuri could respond. āThe simplest route here would be a temporary augmentation to Soi Fonās-ā āNo,ā Yoruichi stopped Kisuke. āNo futa.ā Soi Fon arched an eyebrow, giving her wife a sidelong look. She seemed to be blushing and trying hard not to look at Soi Fon. What the hell is futa? What are they getting at? she thought, but said nothing.
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| | | siyentista Master of the Maggot's Nest, PhD
Posts : 180 Join date : 2010-05-06 Location : locked inside my head
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:25 pm | |
| No. No futa.
ahahahahaha.
can't wait for the rest. | |
| | | Mr Khan Hollow
Posts : 96 Join date : 2012-02-01 Location : Source of the Sun
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:55 am | |
| Updated. Damn this took me far too long. | |
| | | CaptainYoruichi CaptainYoruichi Level
Posts : 1264 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 41 Location : Nerd Palace
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:26 am | |
| That was a nice update! I left a review of sorts on the site there. ^_^ | |
| | | SoldierG65434-2 H-H-Hacker
Posts : 1149 Join date : 2010-05-06 Location : Citadel Station
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:37 am | |
| - Mr Khan wrote:
- Updated. Damn this took me far too long.
Hey, you're totally kicking my ass now. I'm fairly certain everything you've punished as been since my last update of Every Time. I choose to believe that "Good Nemu" is a King of the Hill refrence and I don't care what you say, the dog's name is Mira. Also, I just want to state for the record that I am not a fan of Unohana/Isane. | |
| | | CaptainYoruichi CaptainYoruichi Level
Posts : 1264 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 41 Location : Nerd Palace
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Apr 29, 2012 8:33 am | |
| That reminds me, I fully expect to see little Unohana/Isanes running around at some point, given all the hinting. | |
| | | Mr Khan Hollow
Posts : 96 Join date : 2012-02-01 Location : Source of the Sun
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:19 pm | |
| - SoldierG65434-2 wrote:
Hey, you're totally kicking my ass now. I'm fairly certain everything you've punished as been since my last update of Every Time.
I choose to believe that "Good Nemu" is a King of the Hill refrence and I don't care what you say, the dog's name is Mira.
Also, I just want to state for the record that I am not a fan of Unohana/Isane. It predicates itself upon similar grounds to YoruSoi, except with characters that slide much more on the "passive" side of the scale and a backstory for both characters and couple that is orders of magnitude less interesting. Mostly it works as a hint, though I am still curious about how well i could do a standalone fic. I'd need more of an idea than "i'm doing a UnoIsa fic," though. (likely why the hinting won't get any stronger in this one, Captain). The name "Good Nemu" is indeed based off King of the Hill. Cotton's appeal is almost identical to Kurotsuchi's, except for the fact that KotH at least made some attempts at humanizing Cotton | |
| | | SoldierG65434-2 H-H-Hacker
Posts : 1149 Join date : 2010-05-06 Location : Citadel Station
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:03 pm | |
| - Mr Khan wrote:
- I'd need more of an idea than "i'm doing a UnoIsa fic," though.
No, that's all you need. It's gotten me this far, at least. I mean shit, I'm writing SuiHara smut just 'cause. My distates for Unohana/Isane has nothing to do with how interesting they are or the relationship's dynamic. I just don't ship Unohana. She one of a number of characters I don't ship in bleach for a variety of reasons (off the top of my head Kenpachi, Ukitake, Komamura, Mayuri, Yamamoto, all Arrancar...Mind you these are characters that I activley don't ship, not characters that I'm too lazy to like the Vizards minus Lisa). I read a fic once where there was an allusion to Unohana being with Hanataro's brother and I was like "Eh, alright." That's been it for me. | |
| | | Mr Khan Hollow
Posts : 96 Join date : 2012-02-01 Location : Source of the Sun
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sat Jun 30, 2012 1:37 am | |
| New chapter is up. Took me two months, gah. Fortunately i have my old under-the-table italian ice job back, gives me lots of writing time. Doesn't stop me from yearning for something more, now that i've graduated.
Oh, and i can't buy Virtua Fighter 5 because i lack both PS3 and 360. All Xenoblade right now... | |
| | | SoldierG65434-2 H-H-Hacker
Posts : 1149 Join date : 2010-05-06 Location : Citadel Station
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Jul 01, 2012 1:23 am | |
| - Mr Khan wrote:
- Fortunately i have my old under-the-table italian ice job back...
"Yo, I got that ice. Shit"s Italian." "Say word, son." - Mr Khan wrote:
- Oh, and i can't buy Virtua Fighter 5 because i lack both PS3 and 360. All Xenoblade right now...
You should remedy that. Get a PS3 and PS+. You get a bunch of free games and shit. Onto the fic itself. " Yoruichi spent the week grappling with her discontent, a discontent which was further fueled by a rising jealousy. The discontent was, in part, rational, and it was nothing new. Yoruichi did not know who she was anymore, or what defined her. This had been a problem she had dealt with since her exile, her loss of Captaincy and Command of the Onmitsukido.
Yoruichi was afraid of ending up likeā¦ well, she hated to visualize it this way, but she was afraid of ending up like her mother. Rather, she was afraid of ending up how her parents had wanted her to end up, the demure, useless trophy wife to an ambitious man who would take her positions away from her. Her great fear was that this was coming true, just with Soi Fon in place of whatever man would have been chosen for her had things gone according to plan." That needs to be it's own fic. Actually, it basically is it's own fic already. Now I'm sad that Polaris hasn't updated Winning in a while. And now I'm ashamed for bagging on her when I haven't updated anything in almost two months. Look what you've done to me! And I have to say, the way it ended was completely fucking random. Did I miss something? Am I not getting the joke? | |
| | | CaptainYoruichi CaptainYoruichi Level
Posts : 1264 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 41 Location : Nerd Palace
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Jul 01, 2012 3:03 am | |
| They showed up because Sui-Feng hadn't just sent the message to Yoruichi. It was broadcast to everyone. I guess Yumichika showed up because he's really a sap at heart and wanted to know if Yoruichi had accepted Sui-Feng's marriage proposal? That's what I think anyway. | |
| | | SoldierG65434-2 H-H-Hacker
Posts : 1149 Join date : 2010-05-06 Location : Citadel Station
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Jul 01, 2012 9:06 am | |
| I get that part, but I guess it being just Yumichika and Ikkaku is what's random to me. It seemed like a bizarre comedy stinger to a mostly sincere moment, especially when it's never been established that she had any kind of rapport with them.
I guess a faceless mob showing up would have made more sense to me. | |
| | | Mr Khan Hollow
Posts : 96 Join date : 2012-02-01 Location : Source of the Sun
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:31 am | |
| CaptainYoruichi got it right. I chose Ikkaku specifically to signify that roughly everyone Lieutenant-level (but not necessarily an actual Lieutenant, hence, Ikkaku) on up heard the message. Yumichika just showed up because they're always together (though no implication of gay Ikkaku here. Straight worked the joke better). It wasn't sent to *everyone,* but it was sent to basically everyone with a name. I wanted to imply it without outright stating it, but you do have to put more mental energy into it than i expect most people expend on yuri fanfiction (including me) It will likely be made explicit in the beginning of the next chapter | |
| | | Mr Khan Hollow
Posts : 96 Join date : 2012-02-01 Location : Source of the Sun
| Subject: Re: All of the Little Things Thu Aug 16, 2012 12:30 am | |
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