Team YoruSoi

An LGBTQ friendly forum for Bleach fans.
 
HomeHome  CalendarCalendar  FAQFAQ  SearchSearch  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 All of the Little Things

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: All of the Little Things   Sat Feb 11, 2012 7:57 am

Figured i'd open up a thread to discuss my ongoing project, especially since the structure of this "story" allows for more commentary on individual pieces

The story is here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7770926/1/All_of_the_Little_Things

The format is that Yoruichi and Soi Fon are looking back, a good ways into the future, upon how their relationship matured to the point it got to by the time of the story. It is a sequel to "Four Weeks," simply relying on the fact that Four Weeks establishes a romantic relationship between them, though little else of the events of that story really have an impact on what's occurring here. The stories, in short, address the necessary steps that most long-term relationships go through: having sex, moving in, proposing marriage, getting married, getting pregnant, having kids, hence "the little things," as opposed to the big thing (finding "the one.")

So far, the story has tackled the first event chronologically, Sleeping Together, that being the first time they have sex, and the fourth event, Marriage, which is the wedding itself (and some of the requisite drama that comes with marrying the last heir of a clan off to another woman)

Keeping things out-of-order, the story will proceed to tackle: moving in together, proposal, getting pregnant, and the pregnancy proper.

If anyone has ideas, i would like to hear them regarding "Proposal" and "Moving in Together," which i haven't thought out that well yet. The pregnancy one i've been giving a good deal of thinking to.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:32 am

So, after our discussion in the "What If" thread, I think you should include Kiyone in the fic somehow. I don't think it would be too hard to fit her into the pregnancy bit, given her inherent connection to the fourth.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:51 am

SoldierG65434-2 wrote:
So, after our discussion in the "What If" thread, I think you should include Kiyone in the fic somehow. I don't think it would be too hard to fit her into the pregnancy bit, given her inherent connection to the fourth.

Possibly. Perhaps a side-conversation between Kiyone and Isane that addresses the often-unaddressed (though i remember reading one fic, somewhere, wherein Isane was acting very coldly towards Soi, holding the grudge while Kiyone did not), but somehow is not too much of a non-sequitor. Tying it in to Soi Fon's character growth could work...

Then again, i'm quite fascinated by Isane and Unohana. I'd vaguely like to do a crack shipping about them, so i've held interest in their motives and all the character potential.

Next comes "Cohabitation," however. I'm getting close to starting, lots of lag on my latest work for DeviantArt plus the midterm crunch. Between "Cohabitation" and "Proposal" I would like to weave a theme of Yoruichi trying to find a role for herself as something more than "Soi Fon's woman," and in the process try to better-crystallize her characterization. There is an irony in there if one accepts the idea of the "gilded cage" take on Yoruichi, if she wanted to avoid just getting married off to some man who would take up her titles and responsibilities and bear his children, only to end up married off to a woman who already has taken her responsibilities, and bearing her child. Where does that leave her? Also to try to more firmly affix Yoruichi on the "materialism vs asceticism" scale and define what she really wants to do with her day-to-day life (being in love being all well and good, but life is more mundane than that).
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Crimson Warrior
Grandmaster of the TenKuei Klan
avatar

Posts : 338
Join date : 2010-06-15
Age : 27
Location : Cincinnati, Ohio

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:56 pm

Nicely done, Khan. I just read what you've got so far. I like the huge amount of thought you put into these. Makes me realize how much more thought I gotta put into my idea. They're not fanfiction, but still require intense details. Thank you.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:16 am

Third chapter (second chronologically) is up.

I'm not too pleased with it, but "moving in" is much more mundane than everything else the story will tackle, so i think i did well enough

Next, for instance, comes the whole "get pregnant" one, which will have less to do with character development and much to do with my own fanciful ideas for lesbian conception that doesn't involve any transgender shenanigans (meaning no futa). Really it should be a study in Bleach's sci-fi physics wrapped in a layer of smut that just so happens to involve our favorite pair.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:28 am

Mr Khan wrote:
TReally it should be a study in Bleach's sci-fi physics wrapped in a layer of smut that just so happens to involve our favorite pair.
I'm telling you, you already have your answer. You don't have to make much of anything up.

There was one thing that bothered me about you're latest chapter; the assertion that there's no modern conveniences or electricity in the SS. We already know that they have computers, radios, automatic doors, and heated floors. Unless there's a perpetual fire underneath the Second Division and someone's watching every door while holding on too a pulley I think it's safe to assume that they have some sort of power supply.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:44 am

SoldierG65434-2 wrote:
Mr Khan wrote:
TReally it should be a study in Bleach's sci-fi physics wrapped in a layer of smut that just so happens to involve our favorite pair.
I'm telling you, you already have your answer. You don't have to make much of anything up.

There was one thing that bothered me about you're latest chapter; the assertion that there's no modern conveniences or electricity in the SS. We already know that they have computers, radios, automatic doors, and heated floors. Unless there's a perpetual fire underneath the Second Division and someone's watching every door while holding on too a pulley I think it's safe to assume that they have some sort of power supply.

That would be much more mundane than i might like. My idea plays off what i imagine to be the physics of the spirit world in what i feel is a more interesting way.

And my assumption was that the modern conveniences were arrayed disorderly. Obviously Squads 12 and 4 would have electrical appliances, but have we ever seen much of them outside of that space? Electricity, technology, and automatic doors exist where they're needed in an almost haphazard fashion

I suppose i overthought in the wrong direction there, because the direction i established in that chapter requires a deliberate amount of "a wizard did it," underthinking (like where the hot water actually comes from), and it would at least have made sense for Yoruichi to bring a computer over to hook into the internet on their side.

Hmm. Maybe i'll go in and fix that, since it's not a relevant detail to the plot of the chapter but does contradict stuff i've laid out before (gas range in Soi's kitchen).

Edit: yep, changed it, now she has a computer, and with a line about boring internet in the Soul Society (assuming that they cannot connect to the outside internet, i doubt they would have much of great interest on their internet)
Back to top Go down
View user profile
CaptainYoruichi
CaptainYoruichi Level
CaptainYoruichi Level
avatar

Posts : 1264
Join date : 2010-05-06
Age : 35
Location : Nerd Palace

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:37 am

I really enjoyed the chapter.

I keep forgetting to post reviews so I apologize for that. I am reading them! ^_^
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://teamyorusoi.forumotion.com
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Apr 15, 2012 9:02 am

A snippet of the current chapter. Incredibly far behind on things, and as Japan winds down, it's only going to get worse in the short run. Or better. Final exam studying procrastination has produced some good work on my part before...

Spoiler:
 
Back to top Go down
View user profile
siyentista
Master of the Maggot's Nest, PhD
Master of the Maggot's Nest, PhD


Posts : 180
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : locked inside my head

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:25 pm

No. No futa.

ahahahahaha.

can't wait for the rest.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.


All my fics are rated T just because.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:55 am

Updated. Damn this took me far too long.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
CaptainYoruichi
CaptainYoruichi Level
CaptainYoruichi Level
avatar

Posts : 1264
Join date : 2010-05-06
Age : 35
Location : Nerd Palace

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:26 am

That was a nice update! I left a review of sorts on the site there. ^_^
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://teamyorusoi.forumotion.com
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:37 am

Mr Khan wrote:
Updated. Damn this took me far too long.
Hey, you're totally kicking my ass now. I'm fairly certain everything you've punished as been since my last update of Every Time.

I choose to believe that "Good Nemu" is a King of the Hill refrence and I don't care what you say, the dog's name is Mira.

Also, I just want to state for the record that I am not a fan of Unohana/Isane.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
CaptainYoruichi
CaptainYoruichi Level
CaptainYoruichi Level
avatar

Posts : 1264
Join date : 2010-05-06
Age : 35
Location : Nerd Palace

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Apr 29, 2012 8:33 am

That reminds me, I fully expect to see little Unohana/Isanes running around at some point, given all the hinting. LOL
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://teamyorusoi.forumotion.com
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Apr 29, 2012 12:19 pm

SoldierG65434-2 wrote:

Hey, you're totally kicking my ass now. I'm fairly certain everything you've punished as been since my last update of Every Time.

I choose to believe that "Good Nemu" is a King of the Hill refrence and I don't care what you say, the dog's name is Mira.

Also, I just want to state for the record that I am not a fan of Unohana/Isane.

It predicates itself upon similar grounds to YoruSoi, except with characters that slide much more on the "passive" side of the scale and a backstory for both characters and couple that is orders of magnitude less interesting. Mostly it works as a hint, though I am still curious about how well i could do a standalone fic. I'd need more of an idea than "i'm doing a UnoIsa fic," though. (likely why the hinting won't get any stronger in this one, Captain).

The name "Good Nemu" is indeed based off King of the Hill. Cotton's appeal is almost identical to Kurotsuchi's, except for the fact that KotH at least made some attempts at humanizing Cotton
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Apr 29, 2012 1:03 pm

Mr Khan wrote:
I'd need more of an idea than "i'm doing a UnoIsa fic," though.
No, that's all you need. It's gotten me this far, at least. I mean shit, I'm writing SuiHara smut just 'cause.

My distates for Unohana/Isane has nothing to do with how interesting they are or the relationship's dynamic. I just don't ship Unohana. She one of a number of characters I don't ship in bleach for a variety of reasons (off the top of my head Kenpachi, Ukitake, Komamura, Mayuri, Yamamoto, all Arrancar...Mind you these are characters that I activley don't ship, not characters that I'm too lazy to like the Vizards minus Lisa).

I read a fic once where there was an allusion to Unohana being with Hanataro's brother and I was like "Eh, alright." That's been it for me.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sat Jun 30, 2012 1:37 am

New chapter is up. Took me two months, gah. Fortunately i have my old under-the-table italian ice job back, gives me lots of writing time. Doesn't stop me from yearning for something more, now that i've graduated.

Oh, and i can't buy Virtua Fighter 5 because i lack both PS3 and 360. All Xenoblade right now...
Back to top Go down
View user profile
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Jul 01, 2012 1:23 am

Mr Khan wrote:
Fortunately i have my old under-the-table italian ice job back...
"Yo, I got that ice. Shit"s Italian."
"Say word, son."

Mr Khan wrote:
Oh, and i can't buy Virtua Fighter 5 because i lack both PS3 and 360. All Xenoblade right now...
You should remedy that. Get a PS3 and PS+. You get a bunch of free games and shit.

Onto the fic itself.

"Yoruichi spent the week grappling with her discontent, a discontent which was further fueled by a rising jealousy. The discontent was, in part, rational, and it was nothing new. Yoruichi did not know who she was anymore, or what defined her. This had been a problem she had dealt with since her exile, her loss of Captaincy and Command of the Onmitsukido.

Yoruichi was afraid of ending up like… well, she hated to visualize it this way, but she was afraid of ending up like her mother. Rather, she was afraid of ending up how her parents had wanted her to end up, the demure, useless trophy wife to an ambitious man who would take her positions away from her. Her great fear was that this was coming true, just with Soi Fon in place of whatever man would have been chosen for her had things gone according to plan.
"

That needs to be it's own fic. Actually, it basically is it's own fic already. Now I'm sad that Polaris hasn't updated Winning in a while. And now I'm ashamed for bagging on her when I haven't updated anything in almost two months. Look what you've done to me!

And I have to say, the way it ended was completely fucking random. Did I miss something? Am I not getting the joke?

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
CaptainYoruichi
CaptainYoruichi Level
CaptainYoruichi Level
avatar

Posts : 1264
Join date : 2010-05-06
Age : 35
Location : Nerd Palace

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Jul 01, 2012 3:03 am

They showed up because Sui-Feng hadn't just sent the message to Yoruichi. It was broadcast to everyone. I guess Yumichika showed up because he's really a sap at heart and wanted to know if Yoruichi had accepted Sui-Feng's marriage proposal? XD That's what I think anyway.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://teamyorusoi.forumotion.com
SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
H-H-Hacker
avatar

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Jul 01, 2012 9:06 am

I get that part, but I guess it being just Yumichika and Ikkaku is what's random to me. It seemed like a bizarre comedy stinger to a mostly sincere moment, especially when it's never been established that she had any kind of rapport with them.

I guess a faceless mob showing up would have made more sense to me.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
Co-Administrator
Fanfiction.net - Ficlets - My fic commentaires - Tumblr
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:31 am

CaptainYoruichi got it right. I chose Ikkaku specifically to signify that roughly everyone Lieutenant-level (but not necessarily an actual Lieutenant, hence, Ikkaku) on up heard the message. Yumichika just showed up because they're always together (though no implication of gay Ikkaku here. Straight worked the joke better). It wasn't sent to *everyone,* but it was sent to basically everyone with a name. I wanted to imply it without outright stating it, but you do have to put more mental energy into it than i expect most people expend on yuri fanfiction (including me) Tongue

It will likely be made explicit in the beginning of the next chapter
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Mr Khan
Hollow
avatar

Posts : 96
Join date : 2012-02-01
Location : Source of the Sun

PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   Thu Aug 16, 2012 12:30 am

Double post, but i'm done with it. Last chapter

fun fact, this chapter contains the worlds "I can drill your daughter" in a completely non-sexual context.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7770926/1/All_of_the_Little_Things
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: All of the Little Things   

Back to top Go down
 
All of the Little Things
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Things to Do Besides Eat:
» Good things can happen when you're taking out the garbage.
» Your Five Favorite Things!?
» Anyone goood with making things from fiberglass?
» Weird Things

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Team YoruSoi :: YoruSoi :: YoruSoi Fanfiction-
Jump to: