| Winning Isn't Everything | |
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PolarisAmane Writing Monster
Posts : 290 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 108 Location : Paradise Island
| Subject: Winning Isn't Everything Tue Aug 03, 2010 6:23 pm | |
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SoldierG65434-2 H-H-Hacker
Posts : 1149 Join date : 2010-05-06 Location : Citadel Station
| Subject: Re: Winning Isn't Everything Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:24 pm | |
| Read it, loved it, left a review for you, as promised.
What's funny to me is that I probably love all the things about this fic that other people will hate.
I'm chuffed that the first major work to use "Sui-Feng" was dedicated to me. That's a weird thing to be proud of.
Oh, I left this out of my review, but I do have one gripe; the flashback. It's not so much a content gripe as much as a style one. I prefer things to be told in present tense and for the time line to not go behind the starting point, but that's just me. I can't really complain too much though, since it served it's purpose.
Last edited by SoldierG65434-2 on Tue Aug 03, 2010 11:15 pm; edited 1 time in total | |
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bellatrix28 Hollow
Posts : 88 Join date : 2010-07-17 Age : 34 Location : UT
| Subject: Re: Winning Isn't Everything Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:50 pm | |
| I love it! and can't wait for the next chapter!
It's about time Sui-Feng got some balls when it comes to Yoruichi.
just a couple minor grammar errors, but everything else was smooth. | |
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CaptainYoruichi CaptainYoruichi Level
Posts : 1264 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 41 Location : Nerd Palace
| Subject: Re: Winning Isn't Everything Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:11 am | |
| I think it makes sense that Yoruichi wouldn't be used to losing, but I disagree with her wanting to keep Sui-Feng "in her place." Yoruichi doesn't care about protocol or positions (hence the reason she wanted Sui-Feng to call her Yoruichi instead of gundanchou), so it seems contradictory for her to regard Sui-Feng that condescendingly.
Despite that gripe with the characterization, I look forward to reading the next chapter and seeing what happens. | |
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SoldierG65434-2 H-H-Hacker
Posts : 1149 Join date : 2010-05-06 Location : Citadel Station
| Subject: Re: Winning Isn't Everything Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:33 am | |
| - CaptainYoruichi wrote:
- I think it makes sense that Yoruichi wouldn't be used to losing, but I disagree with her wanting to keep Sui-Feng "in her place." Yoruichi doesn't care about protocol or positions (hence the reason she wanted Sui-Feng to call her Yoruichi instead of gundanchou), so it seems contradictory for her to regard Sui-Feng that condescendingly.
I disagree with that, too a point. Yoruichi has been shown to shy away from formal titles, but she defiantly respects the chain of command and rank. They only clear examples of this that I can think of this are when she cat-bitched slapped Ichigo for simply asking "what is it?" about his Vizard mask. She gave a command and wasn't going to take any lip, regardless of how innocuous it is. Then there was TBtP, when she publicly yelled at Urahara for poor presence. If she didn't care, she wouldn't have been bothered by such minor stuff as poor posture and being late. And you also have to take into account the situation. Yoruichi has always been above Sui-Feng. That's just they way it's always been. But then things started happening. Yoruichi hurt herself fighting Yammy when she used the same techniques that she's probably used all her life, and then she was trashed by Aizen. She's loosing her relevance, being out-paced by the next generation threats and allies. And then Sui-Feng bests her in the one area where she still is supreme; shunpo. It figuratively cemented her irrelevance, and she couldn't handle that, so she fell back on asserting her status superiority over Sui-Feng. | |
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CaptainYoruichi CaptainYoruichi Level
Posts : 1264 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 41 Location : Nerd Palace
| Subject: Re: Winning Isn't Everything Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:01 pm | |
| Technically, Soifon didn't beat her at shunpo. She just outsmarted Yoruichi. Which is probably bad but not as bad as if she actually became faster than the Goddess of Flash. And everyone got trolled by Aizen, so I don't use that as a measuring stick of anyone's power. It makes sense though if that's how you interpret Yoruichi's character. | |
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PolarisAmane Writing Monster
Posts : 290 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 108 Location : Paradise Island
| Subject: Re: Winning Isn't Everything Wed Aug 04, 2010 3:50 pm | |
| - CaptainYoruichi wrote:
- I think it makes sense that Yoruichi wouldn't be used to losing, but I disagree with her wanting to keep Sui-Feng "in her place." Yoruichi doesn't care about protocol or positions (hence the reason she wanted Sui-Feng to call her Yoruichi instead of gundanchou), so it seems contradictory for her to regard Sui-Feng that condescendingly.
Despite that gripe with the characterization, I look forward to reading the next chapter and seeing what happens. You've got to remember that the chapter is written from Sui-Feng's perspective, so when it says that Yoruichi was keeping Sui-Feng "in her place" it's really Sui-Feng's thoughts being expressed in the narrative, so you could argue that perhaps it was just her being slightly irrational and jumping to the worst possible conclusion. I didn't really mean for Yoruichi to (once again) be placed in the "bad guy" position in their relationship. Personally, I'd say that they're both in the wrong, and that neither of them handled the situation properly. - SoldierG65434-2 wrote:
- I'm chuffed that the first major work to use "Sui-Feng" was dedicated to me. That's a weird thing to be proud of.
Not half as weird as me getting cheap thrills from typing out “Sui-Feng” on the chatbox the other night. | |
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CaptainYoruichi CaptainYoruichi Level
Posts : 1264 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 41 Location : Nerd Palace
| Subject: Re: Winning Isn't Everything Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:46 am | |
| @ Soldier - I see what you are saying, but I still disagree. If Yoruichi was so bothered by the idea of people being her equal or surpassing her, why bother training so many people to do just that? She not only trained with Kisuke but also was the one who recommended him for a captain position. Why train Byakuya, Soifon, and Ichigo in particular if she wanted to stay above everything? I think Yoruichi is pretty aware that people will eventually surpass her, and she looks forward to it, and takes pride in knowing she played a part. She seems to like finding those with potential and then seeing it made into fruition. Personally I think she'd be proud if Soifon really did surpass her. - PolarisAmane wrote:
- You've got to remember that the chapter is written from Sui-Feng's perspective, so when it says that Yoruichi was keeping Sui-Feng "in her place" it's really Sui-Feng's thoughts being expressed in the narrative, so you could argue that perhaps it was just her being slightly irrational and jumping to the worst possible conclusion.
So will we get a glimpse of what Yoruichi really thinks? | |
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PolarisAmane Writing Monster
Posts : 290 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 108 Location : Paradise Island
| Subject: Re: Winning Isn't Everything Thu Aug 05, 2010 5:30 pm | |
| - CaptainYoruichi wrote:
So will we get a glimpse of what Yoruichi really thinks?
'Fraid not. The whole of this fic will be told from Sui-Feng's perspective. I had kind of hoped that the readers would have a glimpse of what Yoruichi was thinking through her reactions. Apparantly I fucked that up though. If it's any consolation, I ahve a sequal planned and it will be told entirely from Yoruichi's perspective. | |
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CaptainYoruichi CaptainYoruichi Level
Posts : 1264 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 41 Location : Nerd Palace
| Subject: Re: Winning Isn't Everything Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:01 pm | |
| - PolarisAmane wrote:
- 'Fraid not. The whole of this fic will be told from Sui-Feng's perspective. I had kind of hoped that the readers would have a glimpse of what Yoruichi was thinking through her reactions. Apparantly I fucked that up though.
I'll have to read it again, maybe I just missed it. ^_^ But yeah, seeing it from Yoruichi's POV will be interesting. I won't say it's a consolation until I actually read it, though, seeing as how my opinion of Yoruichi is different from everyone else. | |
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CaptainYoruichi CaptainYoruichi Level
Posts : 1264 Join date : 2010-05-06 Age : 41 Location : Nerd Palace
| Subject: Re: Winning Isn't Everything Mon May 26, 2014 7:07 pm | |
| Double post necro bump to announce that Polaris updated this fic. XD Chapter 3It feels like a fluffier ending than I expected given the first two chapters and subsequent chats about the fic, but it's also pretty organic as far as how it plays out. Basically, it was worth the wait IMO. :) | |
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