Best show ever: Big bang theory!
Sheldon: Can I get you anything to drink?
Girl: Tepid water please.
Howard Wolowitz: Renaissance fairs aren't about historical accuracy. They're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinkos and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosom jumps out and says "howdy".
Sheldon Cooper: Bosoms would not have said "howdy" in the Fifteenth Century. If anything, they would have said "Huzzah!"
Howard Wolowitz: I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon. I just want to be part of the conversation.
Leslie Winkle: Hello, dummy.
Sheldon Cooper: Hello, insufficiently intelligent person.
Leslie Winkle: Ooh, send me to the burn unit.
Leonard Hofstadter: I'm glad Penny's dating. Now I can really let loose.
Howard Wolowitz: You were holding back?
Leonard Hofstadter: Out of courtesy, yes.
Rajesh Koothrappali: What about the ten years before Penny.
Leonard Hofstadter: Hey, I've date plenty of women.
Howard Wolowitz: Like who?
Leonard Hofstadter: Well, there's Joyce Kim, Leslie Winkle...
[pause]
Sheldon Cooper: Someone call the Oxford English Dictionary. The definition of "plenty" has been changed to "two".
Sheldon: But then some poor woman is going to pin her hopes on my sperm, what if she winds up with a toddler that doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve for the area under a curve?
Leonard: I'm sure she'll still love him.
Sheldon: I wouldn't.
Leonard: Come on! We have a combined IQ of 360 we should be able to figure out how to get into a stupid building.
[two girls selling cookies ring every bell, the door opens]
Sheldon: What do you think their combined IQ is ?
Sheldon: Do you want to hear an interesting thing about stairs?
Leonard: Not really.
Sheldon: [going on anyway] If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip.
Leonard: I don't care.
[thinks about it]
Leonard: Two milli - that doesn't seem right.
Sheldon: It's true - I did a series of experiments when I was twelve. My father broke his clavicle.
Leonard: Is that why they sent you to boarding school?
Sheldon: No - that was the result of my work with lasers.
Sheldon: You're not done with her, are you?
Leonard: Our babies will be smart AND beautiful.
Sheldon: Not to mention imaginary.
Sheldon Cooper: You must release me from my oath. I can't keep your secret, Penny. I'm going to fold like an energy-based de novo protein in conformational space... like a Renaissance triptych... like a cheap suit.
Penny: Why is it so hard for you to keep one little secret?
Sheldon Cooper: I'm constitutionally incapable. That's why I was refused clearance for a very prestigious government research fellowship at a secret military supercollider located beneath a fake agricultural station 12.5 miles southeast of Travers City, Michigan.
[pause]
Sheldon Cooper: Which you did not hear about from me.
My favorite movie quote actually comes from Lion King 1 1/2
:
[Timon and Pumbaa have found their dream home; Timon is talking to himself, Pumbaa is making a celebration supper]
Timon: The monkey was right! We found it! The perfect life!
Pumbaa: I'll just whip up a little something.
Timon: He had the perfect name for it, too.
Pumbaa: Come and get it!
Timon: [sits at a rock] Such a wonderful phrase. It had this rhythm. Laduda Ladada.
Pumbaa: Try this - hot tuna frittata.
Timon: Hmm. No, that's not it.
Pumbaa: The spinach armada.
Timon: Quiet, Pumbaa. I'm trying to think.
Pumbaa: A spoon of ricotta.
Timon: Two words.
Pumbaa: A wormy piccata.
Timon: Six syllables.
Pumbaa: Kahuna colada.
Timon: Twelve letters.
Pumbaa: A blue enchilada.
Timon: Rhymes with... .
Pumbaa: Legumes on a platter.
Timon: Think, think, think.
Pumbaa: [poking a dish] This oughta be hotta.
Timon: I forget.
Pumbaa: I gotta lambada!
[dances right into Timon]
Timon: HEY! How can you dance at a time like this? I'm DYIN' here!... . Ooh, sorry about that, pal.
Pumbaa: Hakuna Matata.
Timon: ....Come again?
Pumbaa: Hakuna Matata - It means "no worries". Ah-ohhhh... .