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 Shatter

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CaptainYoruichi
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CaptainYoruichi

Posts : 1264
Join date : 2010-05-06
Age : 37
Location : Nerd Palace

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PostSubject: Shatter   Shatter EmptySat Jun 26, 2010 5:36 pm

May I present: Chapter 2.

This chapter was very interesting to write.
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SoifonShihoin
Sweet Little Bumblebee
SoifonShihoin

Posts : 191
Join date : 2010-05-22
Age : 28
Location : Where else would I be other than here...?

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PostSubject: Re: Shatter   Shatter EmptySat Jun 26, 2010 6:22 pm

Amazing chapter! i love it. Great work. Hoping for another update soon! ^_^
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SoldierG65434-2
H-H-Hacker
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SoldierG65434-2

Posts : 1149
Join date : 2010-05-06
Location : Citadel Station

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PostSubject: Re: Shatter   Shatter EmptySat Jun 26, 2010 9:53 pm

It's nice to see you branch out from your usual shtick. I wouldn't call this angsty, as you have. This is more realistic. Two people with such a troubled past aren't going to reconcile their differences after just a conversation or two.

However, since I do know you, a bit of the suspense is gone. I'm hoping you can throw some surprises at us along the way to the inevitable.

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Shatter System_Shock_2_Banner_zps56a40848
We think we know your secret. But it's safe with us.
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CaptainYoruichi
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CaptainYoruichi

Posts : 1264
Join date : 2010-05-06
Age : 37
Location : Nerd Palace

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PostSubject: Re: Shatter   Shatter EmptySat Jun 26, 2010 10:34 pm

That is true, but I think I'd hate myself if I wrote a fic that ended up with the two of them not together.
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SoldierG65434-2
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Join date : 2010-05-06
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PostSubject: Re: Shatter   Shatter EmptySat Jun 26, 2010 11:02 pm

It doesn't have to be blatant, but I would like to see something along the way that tells me everything isn't, or won't be, muffin baskets and rainbow kisses. I'm not saying I don't want them together, but I just don't want a week of moping and a happily ever after, as if the week of moping never happened.

For example, there is something very subtle in By Torpedoes or Chron's that (I think) nobody picked up on, or at least nobody said they did. It was just a sentence, but it conveyed that not everything was not rainbows and butterfly kisses like they appeared to be.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go ask the sky to stop being blue and the sun to stop rising and setting.


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Shatter System_Shock_2_Banner_zps56a40848
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CaptainYoruichi
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CaptainYoruichi

Posts : 1264
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Age : 37
Location : Nerd Palace

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PostSubject: Re: Shatter   Shatter EmptyWed Apr 04, 2012 12:51 am

Ok guys so I'm actually in the middle of revising the story because it wasn't going to work the way I had it set up originally. Anyway, I finished revising Chapter 1, so make sure you give it a re-read. I'm going to work on ch. 2 next.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5939073/1/Shatter

So here is most of the revision of chapter 2. I say "most" because it's done but I am not completely satisfied with the last paragraph so it may be tweaked a little when I upload to fanfiction.net LOL


Spoiler:
 

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